By Michael Kissinger-Staff writer

Helendale, California-If only jewel-encrusted G-strings could talk. It's a thought many weary travellers, kitsch hunters and curious onlookers have wrestled with while visiting the dusty roadside attraction known as Exotic World.

In many ways, it's fitting, if not poetic, that a museum dedicated to preserving the art and artifacts of the golden age of burlesque is located a little off the beaten path-several hours of sweaty driving away from both the glitz of Las Vegas and the celebrity of Los Angeles, just off Route 66, or what's left of it, on an abandoned goat farm in the middle of the Mojave Desert.

Those who navigate past the ever-expanding suburban sprawl, a mysterious fenced-in yard of bottle art, dusty ranches once home to Roy Rogers and statues of white lions adorning the museum's front gates quickly realize they've entered a world unlike any other.

For starters, there's Exotic World's tour guide and "curator" Dixie Evans. Although Evans doesn't exactly resemble the scantily-clad performer once known as "the Marilyn Monroe of burlesque," the 78-year-old hasn't completely hung up her hairpieces, sequin dresses, feather boas and penchant for speaking in Monroe's patented dumb-blonde coo whenever the feeling strikes her.

Evans began running the museum and "striptease hall of fame" in 1990 after friend and former "Bazoom Girl" Jennie Lee, famous for her ability to simultaneously twirl tassels from her bosom and bottom, died of breast cancer, leaving behind an extensive collection of burlesque memorabilia. Lee's husband and former singing cowboy Charlie Arroyo still owns and lives on the premises.

Though it might seem hardly worth blushing over compared to today's sexualized climate of overheated men's magazines, downloadable porn and celebrity sex videos, burlesque was one of the most popular forms of entertainment in American theatre from the 1930s to the late 1950s. Dancers with names like Chesty Morgan, the Eye-Ful Tower and Satan's Angel performed elaborate routines with extravagant costumes and choreography- relying on humour, innuendo and the artful "tease" rather than out-and-out nudity to tantalize audiences. As burlesque began to move from the theatres into the nightclubs, its days became numbered. Not only did burlesque have to contend with moral backlash but also the growing popularity of topless dancing in the 1960s, which was more about the strip than the tease.

Exotic World sits on several acres of dust and tumbleweeds, dotted with a few beat-up trailer homes and a friendly dog or two aimlessly wandering around in search of some much-needed shade. The museum, itself, is a hodge-podge of poorly ventilated rooms with wall-to-wall plush carpet, housing an impressive, if overwhelming, collection of photos, costumes, promotional posters, playbills and lip prints. There's Jayne Mansfield's heart-shaped sofa-donated by the late actress's son, Sally Rand's ivory-handled fans, Gypsy Rose Lee's glove collection and an entire room dedicated to Marilyn Monroe. The gift shop also provides a wealth of eye-openers including videos, mugs, T-shirts, underwear and hand-sewn leopard print pasties for that special someone in your life.

In addition to the museum, and depending on the day, visitors might even run into a burlesque legend paying Evans a house call, such as Tempest Storm, who happened to drop by during our visit. Still sporting her unmistakable flaming red hair and dancer's figure, Tempest showed us pictures of herself with Elvis Presley, who she once dated, and told us about her days jetsetting around the world, even performing in Vancouver at the Cave. "Oh, I liked Vancouver," said Tempest. "The men were so nice there."

Evans has a few stories of her own-rubbing elbows with movie stars, getting drinks bought for her and another dancer by Clark Gable, running guns to Fidel Castro and Che Guevara before the Cuban Revolution.

Things have slowed down considerably for Evans, who relies on a oddball crew of hired hands and volunteers to help maintain the museum, fend off city bylaw officers and act as tour guides for the slow trickle of visitors to Exotic World each week.

Then there's the Miss Exotic World Pageant every June. The annual event not only attracts international media attention, but competitors of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and ages. And attendance seems to be growing each year, spurred on, in part, by the neo-burlesque movement, which has made bonafide celebrities out of performers like Marilyn Manson's main squeeze Dita Von Teese.

Of course, it's not all fun and flesh at the Miss Exotic World Pageant. Besides Evans' no-swearing policy at the museum, she insists all pageant participants observe her strict pasties and G-string dress code.

Anything less, she says, would be undignified.

For more information on Exotic World, go to www.exoticworldusa.org.